And than you have to proberbly fight breastcancer as well.
Last year, still in Holland, I had been to my doctor because I had a constant pain in my left breast. They wanted more research but because of moving to Sweden it never came that far.
Also because I never run that fast when it comes to going to a doctor.
But for twee weeks now my left breast produces this bloody black stuff, while my right breast “just” gives milk due to the tumor in my head.
So fully in shock I had been to the doctor. All my lymph nodes were swollen and in my breast there was a swelling as well…. So not good, not good at all.
Neither was the face of te doctor.
He want me to do a mammography, but my stomach turned by that idea. The next day I watched the second episode of “The truth about cancer” and it was also about breastcancer and it said that a mammography can spread the cancer and even make it worse.
So my stomach was right (always trust your gut!) and I will not do it.
But already last year a little voice told me it could be this and that voice only has grown stronger, sometimes you just know and in this case I know.
I don’t know which research they can do more. I know the can test the stuff that my beast is leaking for cancercells and that there is something like thermography. But there is not a big change I can find that last one here.
So the change is, it will stay this “knowing” and what the doctor has concluded checking my breast.
It does not change much really, because I will never ever let myself get treated with chemo or radiation, because that will only kill me. And even if I would survive that the cancer is more than likely to come back.
So i do eveything that I can to heal this naturally. And that will be a hard fight. Th end of april I need to see a endicrinolog and will bring this up as well, but also they will not be able to do much for me regarding my braintumor because I can not handle the medication and I will not do surgery.
And believe me it’s scary and I am afraid. Because I know the tumor has grown because I lost my period too this month and that only happens when that damn thing pushes the pituitary gland too much. I just hope what I do will work soon enough for the tumor to disbalance all the other hormons as well. Because I already feel sick and soooo tired. And don’t want to turn into a zombie. I sleep bad because of lack of melatonine and can not sleep on my left breast because it hurts like hell.
But I keep on going.
I juice every two hours, I take loads of vitamines, I take tumeric, ginger and garlic. I don’t eat any processed food and as much raw as I can.
And I jump on the trampoline everyday to get my lymphatic system running.
Next to that I practice meditation, do sound and voicework and try to stay as positive as possible. Which is very hard sometimes. But I keep on trusting my intuition and am sure I will overcome all of this.
I did not come to Sweden to die!
So I keep strong with things I love.
Like 2 days ago when it started snowing like crazy! Eventhough we had some days when I was 20 degrees celcius outside! First I was pissed, but than I could see the beauty of it 🙂
Thick layer of snow!! I was not ready for this!
I love love love birds!
This morning the kids prepared breakfast and already ate when I came out of bed. So I took the dogs out for a walk.
I found my cat Charly like this when I stepped out of the door this morning to walk the dogs.
Look! New red shiny shoes! I love them!
The weather is grey today.
Signs of spring!
I love those cuties!
The even came to me to say hi!
Ugly truth or not life it to beautiful to knock me down!